Loss

I used to think like you
To be young and naive
When the world was my oyster
And all my wishes fulfilled
But now I bare the scars
Of life obtained
The days unlived
And the time spent in sorrow
I know you will join me one day
And for that loss
For those sorrows yet to come
I pity you

Scales

Scales

Surrendering is easier when flesh is not rent

Hearts are harder to bargain

Pain is a price that’s harder to set

 Though it is a fairly active market

Time is valued as losses accrued

Wishes will be stored away

Scales are tipped to the side of the wooed

Love is saved for a rainy day

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Look, Butterfly

Crystal visions of seeking

While the smoke hangs heavy in the air

Heads bob in the ether

Sour taste in my mouth

Can I taste it on yours?

Warm bodies press closer together

So nice, pressure

Wow, is that my hand?

It’s in yours

How did that happen?

Can we stay forever?

Moments are fleeting

Flittery little bugs that get away from us

If they would only hold still

Would you hold still?

Look a shooting star

Make a wish

Not, me I don’t have wishes

Wishes are for dreamers

Dreaming requires surrender

I don’t have enough ambition

To see me through those dark times

I can only rely on myself

Take what we have now

Don’t question it, just smile

And keeping watching the stars,

Look, another butterfly!

Wishes

Wishes When most girls are small they eventually sit around in a group and plan their weddings. It’s inevitable. Something in the female psyche craves this exercise. I’m not sure whether it is a case or one up-man-ship(I’ll have 2 more bridesmaids then you) or something more primal. We have an animal instinct to perpetuate the species. We are told to have children we must be married, therefore we have to get married. I remember sitting in a circle with other girls talking about dresses, bridesmaids, colors, but never really important was the guy you were marrying. Isn't that a bit backward? I must of had a tad more imagination then some of my friends I planned out my children, with names even. I could tell you what they looked like and some brief personality traits. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed. Maybe it would be entertaining to someone. So here is my wedding that will never be, partially because I don’t date and partially because it would be extremely hard for me to have children. (Nothing is impossible, But I’m not holding my breath!) The Details A church wedding of course… The dress is handmaid to a drawing I've been working on for years updating each time my body shape changes The bridesmaids enter in increasing height order in dresses that start in a darker colors then gradually lighten leading to the light pink of the flower girl, then the white of the wedding dress Also the bridesmaids hair starts in a complicated braiding and up do, then the next is less complicated, etc, until the brides hair is down in simple curls with flowers pined into her hair All the bouquets for the girls are simple gathers of a flowers matching the dress. The bride has a simple gather of white roses. The ushers have ties and cummerbunds that match their bridesmaid, also paired according to height. Songs: “There is love” “Hosea” (And Amazing Grace, ‘cause this ain't happening) A reception at a hotel with an open bar The tables have linens to match the bridesmaids dresses. The place setting is simple. In stead of flower centerpieces, there are edible arrangements and there are disposable cameras at all the tables. The menu is a simple buffet with three meat options and two non meat options. The wedding cake would be traditional. There would be a grooms cake and cupcakes. There would be a DJ and two separate rooms for Karaoke and cards. And a Barrista.  The Kids First Born: Katherine Marie Dark Black hair short Very book smart Not a outdoors person or sports person Second Born: Mitchell : Smart Brown hair Green Eye Very willing to please just about anyone sort of short semi okay at both sports and school but kind of an underachiever Third born: Colleen Catherine Very red hair and bright green eyes. Very athletic Tallest of the lot likes to read

N.B.  The thing about wishes , of course, is that you NEVER SPEAK THEM OUT LOUD. Or write them for that matter.  So there go that.  Not that I had any shot at all but maybe someone will get some use out of my color scheme or something.