Musings

Where do people go
When they just disappear?
Their lives but a memory
A dream in the night
Do they become angels
Watching over us by day?
Or are they simply
A figment,
Vanished,
When no one left remembers?

Haunting

In a wave of memory
A scent drifts past me
I knew you couldn't quit it
I knew you couldn't quit me
Haunting me in bursts
Shame I thought of it first
I wish I could quit you
I wish I could quit this
Painful and joyful the same
I'm dying to call your name
I fall over and over for you
I fall each minute for you
Souls forever bound
In your heart I'm found

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Crystalline conversations with the stars
As winds chill my bones
Talking to the forgotten
Talking to myself
Only you would know or care
Who shares these whispered words
Secrets told to ghosts
Memory held in bond
A fire banked and ready
Feed the flame

Beauty

Beauty

Beauty is not ephemeral.

Beauty is permanence, passion,

Fleeting moments do just that,

They fly away.

What matters is what stays.

The fire that burns,

Way down deep in your soul,

Too far down to be quieted or quenched

By an uncaring gaze.

In your memory, it will reside

Forever.

It lives in the collective unconscious.

Like a heartbeat;

Steady, Solid,

Undeniable,

It waits upon it’s time.

To question beauty,

Is to question one’s own self.

If you doubt what is real

Know only this,

The truth in beauty lies,

In knowing oneself.

If you do not take the time now

To know and love yourself,

You can never know love,

Or Beauty

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Replete

Replete

My pillow lies empty

It bears the impression

I catch a scent

Of your dulcet fragrance

And it moves me to tears

The absence of you

Crushes me

My dust settles here

As a tribute to your memory

Born on the wind

It will seek you out

Settle in your deepest recesses

Become part of you

As we will join

Once More

No longer divided

But

Replete

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Turnstiles of Time

Will you miss me when I’m gone?

When the dust clears

And the smoke settles

Will the memories fade?

As the lights dime

And the curtains close

The people pass through

The turnstiles of time

I want to leave my mark

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Unraveling

Now it has begun

The unraveling

The unmaking of time

When we call back

What was last said

Until the last thread

Is unwoven and re-spooled

The tapestry’s gone

Only a memory now

Strange but it seems

That I recall how it almost

Was impossibly larger than most

It wasn’t though

It couldn’t be

It was only

You and me

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My memory is going...

I can no longer remember both of the parts of Handel's Hallelujah chorus.  I originally learned it in tenor, then I switched a year later to soprano.  After the teacher actually listened to me.  I could hit the tenor notes mind you, but I could hit the soprano easier. LOL  I think I could qualified as a true tenor now, after my thyroid issues.  I was playing around with recording some stuff and I said I know, I'll record both parts of the Hallelujah chorus.  Only to find I can't remember them.  I just love my mind, not! This is not acceptable.  I wish there was something to do about it.  Unfortunately, there is no real problem, hence no solution.  I've had a headache since 1994, that's probably part of it.  Or at least one of the medications I'm on.  I used to remember everything.  And I do mean everything.  Exact conversations.  Now, I have trouble with names.  It sucks.  I'm fighting the best I can.  It makes you feel like you can't win when you're thirty three and you feel like you're fifty.  I understand that there are people that are worse then I am.  I just get frustrated sometimes.  Zebras get lonely sometimes.  It's hard to find someone who understands exactly what it feels like to have stripes. They stick out but at the same time you blend in the jungle. Camouflage isn't always a good thing.  It may stop the person who could help you the most from noticing you. 

The Best Place to Start

When memory fades

When the dust settles

Will your name be remembered?

Will the ancient choirs of angels

Sing you to sleep in your grave?

Pardon me for being so dire

But I can’t help but wonder

As memory starts to fade

If it was that wonderful at all

Were you really that good?

It was brief after all

Time filters our memories

Were you a friend?

An enemy in disguise?

Sometimes we need a fall

To show us how high to reach

Sometimes bottom

Is the best place to start