Growing Up Isn't Easy

When I was a child
You hurled insults at me
Reviled me
You call me weak
Do you even remember my name?

When I was older
I knew why you you insulted me
The need to possess or control
Was an all-consuming hunger
You wanted my soul.
Now you don't even care for my attention

When you were in college
I was a distraction, a means to an end
The way to get what you needed
Do you even remember I exist?

Now I'm older
My scars no longer burn
The pain is still fresh though
It forms my whole being

For though I have been
Slander and abused and
Taken advantage of

I survived

I'm stronger

I will go on

'Twas the penultimate day before Christmas

'Twas penultimate day before Christmas
I sat with no Elf on my shelf
I licked cookie batter off of my fingers And smiled in spite of myself
I had no presents to wrap
No festive lights to hang
I really cannot lie
Amazon is a wonderful thing
The rain was falling down
And splattering on the panes
The children sat school
And wished they had candy canes
The vacuum cleaner was running
Picking up the dust on the floor
If I had to clean anymore s***
I'd scream till I cried no more
Visions of Santa would not come
I was busy crying in pain
If I had to wrap another present
I'd slowly go insane
Christmas has come to mean parties
Gifts and ribbons and strings
We no longer think of the joy
Of the peace the season should bring
So as we sit there on Christmas
And gather with friends and family
Take time to sit and remember
Those struck by war, illness and poverty.

Violent Kisses

Cover me with violent kisses
Rage against my body
Make me beg for you
Open and waiting
Hold me as I fall
Reaching out for what's within grasp
Lying in the dying light
Shelter me
As our souls merge

Bu/y Owner

Whole mostly complete person--

Not too short, just high enough to reach
I will wear sandals when not at the beach Including a heart that's mostly complete
The cracks give it charm, they make it look sweet

As for the brains, I have to be thinking
Of solid more ways to ever be linking
We're all connected, we should be aligned
One day I will find it- true peace of mind

Now to the almost, Which never will be-

I'll never act or model or professionally sing
Don't expect to hear wedding bells ring
Don't wait for my children, they never will be
I don't want your pity. Children are hard you see...

One day in the future, gone we'll all be
My personal Fortune is harder to see
Add in cancer, immune problems and more I'm amazed that I've lived to see 34

This isn't a message, it isn't a plea
It is who I am, a description of me
The outer surface is all that you see
When you reach the middle, my heart will be free

Waiting Room

I sit waiting
Time can drag you
Pull you along bloody
Into infinity
The clock beats in time to my heart
Can I make it March?
Moments can be counted
They are sitting in a tidy pile
Something is missing
Days are dealt in hands
Whose hands?
Dealers come and go
Luck of the draw turns a flush, a full house
My house is empty
Can I have a page, a book?
The writing is blank
All cards are wild
As I sit waiting

So a Contemplation...

I watched August: Osage County. One thing that always bothered me. Ivy and Little Charles. Admittedly, they never had a chance and the whole incest thing. But it seemed like quiet frankly, she gets screwed. Everything drops on them, as the least messed up of the whole crew. They should have had a happy ending. So I wrote a response from Ivy to Little Charles' song, if they could have been together. Forgive the odd meter and rhymes, I was sort of trying to follow the original. It does work if you sing along. It's streching here and there but c'est la vie!

Ivy's Answer

Well I always had the words you couldn't say
Get the feelings out so they don't get in the way
I'll sing to with you with all of my heart
For our feelings
We can't really  hide

I'll write a poem for you each and every day
And a special one each time you are away
I'll fill the world with all our desire
For our feelings
We can't really  hide

No our feeling we can't really hide.

Listen Here.

Another Giffy poem

Here

Intense Passion

The night is slowly growing dim
My eyes study you
I rest my head upon your shoulder
Lay still
Feel breath warm the back of your neck
We rise and fall together
In love
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Untitled # 462

Live with me and be my love
With hearts and hands entwined
As long as work is being done
I don't think friends would mind
The day is long and hard and bleak
It seems to never end
But when our eyes, loving meet
My broken heart will mend
Joined together in warm embrace
Two hearts will beat as one
Together there's nothing we cannot face
we will outlast the Sun