An Answer to New York by Snow Patrol

First, If you haven't heard the song "New York" by Snow Patrol, Go NOW!  First it's a great song.  Second I wrote this poem about what the girl the song is written to feel when the boyfriend is home.
Here is a link for the song.

Is it Ever Enough?

The time we have together is precious

Way too much to waste

But what can you do when you only have minutes

When time together could be snatched away in an instant

When you only get brief glances

The future of husband and wife

We want to tell each other,

Of our secrets and our sins

If but one second is wasted,

That pressure is multiplied

To a thousand hours yet to be.

The stars lose their place in the heavenly orb

Without the Solar wind to guide them, to get them home.

So the time has come to conclude the telling of this tale

It is the moment to start a new fiction.

Shhh…. The Shadows are SLEEPING…….

Shhh…. The Shadows are SLEEPING…….

With your lovely eyes of blue

Do you know what those eyes do?

Stay with me until I sleep

Until the shadows, far away do creep

We’ll lie together hand in hand

Facing challenges that would break most men

Though at times we may be apart

The only thing I care about

Is your unbroken loving heart 

I swear beyond the shade of reasonable doubt

Sunset on The Beach

Strand of gold interlaced with silver 

Reflecting sunlight catches the eye 

Dancing motes of dust are suspended midair

A warm breeze plays the wind chime

Our hairs tangles together as we watch the sky

The sun slowly sinks into the beach

Birds caw their discordant pleas

Resting together, we wait until the moon rises

We walk hand in hand on the beach

As soft sand settles between our toes 

Spotlight

You lead me to places

Where no one should travel

The light never enters

The world seems to stop and stare at us

It’s okay though

I never minded the spotlight

If the world wants a view

I’ll give them a front row seat

What is there to be ashamed of?

If there something you’re not proud of?

I don’t give a damn, love

It’s their problem not ours

Don’t let it bother you

We can be the wind and fly away

At Rest

Elbows at rest on the bedspread

Sunlight plays across your hair

Tension has been consumed

Torment is no more

I taste your last sip of wine

It betrays your love of cherries

Wish we could have this moment forever

Time stops as sweat pools in the small of your back

When we come

Together there is nothing else

The world ceases

My world is you

Safe Harbor

If tomorrow is all we have

Let us be content with today

When troubles light this world

And sadness is the safest bet

We all hold hands in sorrow

Our grief brings us together

We no longer strive for the future

We long to reach the middle

A safe shore, a harbor in a storm

A port until the way is clear

Tomorrow is miles away

Rest until 

The end of day

TIL I can take online courses abroad...

I recently found out you can take courses at Cambridge and Oxford online. I'm really thinking about it. If I could take it slowly, I might like it. I like the idea of choosing my own courses. One of the things I hated in school was the required courses. I had a course called music for non music majors. It was all stuff I knew. I may not have been a Music Major but I AM a music aficionado. Then again, I never got along with my English teachers. The reasons were very simple. I tend to write like I speak. I am over effusive with prepositional phrases. I am overly descriptive. I do not follow the narrative well. My paragraph structure is laughable. I overuse extensive parlance. (LOL) My poetry, although touching at times, generally follows no set pattern or rhyme scheme intentionally. I do like learn the whys and wherefores of language though. I have been reading books in my spare time about linguistics and the origins of words. It’s interesting. I like how English is both the considered one of the hardest and easiest languages to learn. I like learning all those grammar rules I break haphazardly. I like learning what other people have done so I don’t repeat it. I like learning about the people of history and WHY they did they things they did. If you understand the cause, you will be able to predict the effect. I was always bad at math because I had trouble with the numbers. I understood the processes though. History is just a series of math equations. Person A marries Person B so Person C goes to war with Person B. It is not too hard to figure out. I like history math better than real math. Come to think of it, I used geometry a lot in sports. In basketball, pool and baseball you figure out the angles to calculate the hit for maximum force. In soccer and volleyball and basketball again, angles must constantly be calculated to coordinate throws, kicks, hits, etc. I guess I’m better at math than I thought. I speculate it’s good to be better than you think at something then worse than you think at something. I know that sentence was horrible but I can’t think of any other way to express that thought. That is why I need to go back to school. Perhaps I should study ancient languages and bury my nose in old books. Oh wait, I do that already! Or I could study Cultural Anthropology. That’s the study of society today. I could write a book on how the internet is rotting our brains…



Sounds like an idea…

Namaste

I draw your light into me

And use it to dispel my shadows

Reflect it back into the world I see

Its brilliance shines onto everything

There is nowhere the darkness can hide

What poor soul do I offer you in exchange?

So dingy and full of darkness

Even your evanescence shines

Your purity and clarity

Dispel my demons and sins

The weak thread of truth unravels

The Winter Wind

The wind whispers willfully
Of ages long forgotten
Of princes and valor
Of passion and true love's kiss

The rapid wind tells today's torrenting tale
Of mercenaries and shame
Of sex, drugs and rock and roll

What will tomorrow's wind bring?
Will it sweep clean the plains?
Will it bring back the wonder?
I hope it brings the spring.

Some Poetry I found while Cleaning out my Computer ***

Running in circles in my mind
Silence eats away at patience
Time heals nothing
If scabs never form
Pressure remains constant
Soul crushing pain
Heart wrenching
All consuming
Back to the beginning






You’ll never love me
 I’m not pretty or thin
I’m not up to your standards
I’m never gonna win

We’ll never be the perfect pair
They were always right
They said we were to different
They say how much we fight

You two will work much better
She seems much better for you
She make you happier
She better not make you blue






Floating feelings becomes tangled
Boiling up bubbles full of tears
Tomorrows dance across the horizon
Ready to race, reason for rhyme
Startling vision, sparkling sight
Newfound glory, gradient spikes.
Purple columns rising
Higher in the sky,
From now until forever,
Perfectly pleasant pair.

From now on I need to steel myself from the darkness,

My hard choices need to come swiftly now

One follow another in rapid succession

Time has come to rise to the action and make bold statements

Not always the popular decisions to bear the burdens

A life of single blessedness is a cursed choice

What is necessary is right in God eye and mine

Update on Family History

I first post this on my Tumblr.  This is a follow up to that post.

So UPDATE on my family History:

I sort of hit a brick wall.  A few in fact.  One line, I can trace all the way back.  Or at least back, as far as, I feel like going,(as far as records go).  About Mayflower era is far as I feel like going though.  However, there are the distaff lines.  For those of you not familiar(ah, the old jokes are the best), Distaff means the female, matriarchal line.  That is the harder line to follow because, duh, different names.  I did hit gold because my family founded a town. This book had all the information. Then, because it was a small town and travel was limited, well, you can guess.  But if you go far back enough in anyone’s family tree it stops branching, especially if you have royal blood.  All those tales about mad kings and vampires came from genetic diseases and intermarrying.  My German relatives came from Ludwigs and Gepharts, Dauberman, Haufner, Wilcox, Day, REIFSNIDER and Winters and are surprisingly English and Welsh! The English and Welsh surnames are Glidwell Pennington, Colley, Wilson, King, Bennet and Woodhead, Kaye , Hill, Harrison, Sharpe, Foster. On the Swedish Side they are Polheumus, Schenck, Covenhaven, Moonfort.  Then on the side I KNEW was mixed, I traced back a couple of generations of one grandfather but the trouble I had was there was a father who named two of his sons the same first name with different initials after his father had done the same thing so there were potentially four Raymond Lunt’s of the same approximate age.  They also had all been born in Massachusetts. I cannot find a marriage certificate for his wife which according to my mom is Mabel Oakes?   Then I find a war Pension Paper which lists an alias as Charles W. Stoccard as an alias for a Charles W. Lunt.  Several spots on the paper look erased.  The birth place matches(Maine).  There is a family story that he changed his birth date so he could fight. However I did find other relatives to trace from HIS father’s line.

So from of the four lines I figured I had to trace, I had two dead end, one total shocker, then back to the begining. 

On the Polish side, I figured that I wouldn’t be able to get too far.  I knew that either my grandparents or Great-grandparents were literally off the boat, or once you hit the boat you’re kind of out of luck, especially with the language barrier.  I had had extreme luck with English records because they had taken Censuses as far back as 1841 and once the Protestants settled down Church records were pretty much left alone.  I did find what I believe to be a marriage license on my great-grandmother’s side.  You would think that it would be easy to trace polish names because of the uniqueness. Unfortunately, when my relatives arrived in this country they were not educated.  There were portion of Poland that were not as well off as the rest and still under the nominal control of Russia.  Also, until 13^th century only the Noble families used last names.  Even as late as WWII, many families still didn’t use last names.  I did trace some of the one side although my Aunt has told me that she has the whole thing because a cousin went to Ellis Island and did it.  I know that there are a lot of Zalot’s out there. Hi, Family!  The Cisek’s were the interesting ones.  I found very little but I know my Grandfather had definitely changed his name for business.  I do know that at the time he was on the Forbe’s list for something.  He had a barrel business and managed a minor league baseball team.  He had the opportunity to play in the majors but turned it down because it didn’t pay enough.  He would have played around the same time as Babe Ruth.  I know he had gone by name along the lines of Shezzer or Ceazzer?  There was a story but somehow I managed to block it out. There are some Polish and Austrasia and Hungarian records available online translated.  The problem comes when translating Cyrillic to any Romance language.  Certain letters have no equivalencies.  Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, I like linguistics.  It’s amazing that one of the first things that we learn in a foreign language is curse words.  I may not speak many languages, but I can curse in about 6! 

So that is my update on my family tree.  I started out in one place and end up somewhere I didn’t really expect.  But isn’t that life?  You never end up where you start out to go but it’s where you needed to be.  

Poems: Black Hole Sad Smile

Black Hole

The greater object is thee

I collapse into myself

You draw nearer

You can not escape

Time and escape

Changes around us

There is nothing

No light escapes this place

Do we really exist

Is love an illusion

Harbouring each other

Like a port in a storm

Sooner or later

Gravity will stabilize

We will find ourselves

In a different Space

Will it be full

Of wonder and magic

Or will we witness

The first Big Bang

Sad Smile

Hiding in plain sight

Smile on my face

Glad they don’t know

What hides underneath

Sorrow and passion

Aren’t absent and wanting

Just come in such numbers

Too numerous to keep

Quicksilver changes

It exists in no form

But it DOES exist

Whether you want it or ‘no

Such are emotions

Both hidden and buried

Because you can’t see them

Doesn’t mean they don’t show

The signs are well hidden

The meaning are written

In language a few

Are privileged to speak

A twitch of the eyes

A cringe of the shoulder

Is volumes to those,

Honored and meek

The wisdom of ages

The knowledge of many

The love of a few

Who know what to do

So if you are reading

The poem and decode it

I think that this knowledge

Is speaking to you